Comment Wall

 Percy Jackson's Tales of the Sea

(Jellyfish, Kiara Sztankovics on Unsplash)

This is the Comment Wall for my Storybook, Percy Jackson's Tales of the Sea!  Thank you for your comments! :)

(Link above, but in case that doesn't work: https://sites.google.com/view/tales-of-the-sea/home.)

Comments

  1. After reading the introduction to Percy Jackson's Tales of the Sea, I must say I am excited to read more! Percy Jackson was one of my favorite, if not my number one favorite, book series when I was in middle school. I love that you are picking up where they left off with a fresh story rather than modifying a tale that already exists; this makes me even more eager to keep up with the story.
    The story itself was great as well. The light, casual god humor is an aspect I really like (when Poseidon is called out for acting like it's not his own problem, and when he says he's "totally booked"). Actually, I thought it was pretty funny because I did something very similar in my week 3 story "Homer's Honda Odyssey" where Zeus helps out Homer's crew with transportation, but all he can manage to get them is a minivan...
    Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading more. After reading Percy say "Nothing could possibly go wrong" I am expecting all sorts of things to go wrong!

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  3. Kenzie,

    I just read your project introduction!

    I loved the Percy Jackson series as a kid and after reading your introduction, I'm excited to read more!

    I agree with Chris and like that you are creating a new story with the same characters rather than modifying an existing story. I think it makes it more interesting that the reader doesn't know what is going to happen. I also really appreciate that you kept it in that same first person POV that the Percy Jackson series is in, it really makes me feel like I'm reading Rick Riordan!

    Also, I must note that you're doing a great job using dialogue in your story to convey the message! It tells the story while also coming off as light and funny! When Poseidon said "my schedule is totally booked right now," I couldn't help but let out a chuckle. And the fish also talking, all of it is great!

    The format of this introduction being a letter to Grover not only maintains the first person POV that I know and love from Rick Riordan, but helps set up the adventure that they are about to go on, calling back on this interaction and retelling it in a letter is genius! I'm excited to read the stories!

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  4. Hi Kenzie,
    I read your project introduction and it makes it seems like the story will be light-hearted and based on Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan. I love the series and I power through each book within a week in middle school! You made the introduction interesting by introducing how the quest started and the objective without revealing too much, which makes me curious on what's about to happen. Not to mention that you wrote it in first person POV of Percy writing a letter to Clover about the beginning of the quest.

    I love your use of dialogues and your use of italicize to emphasize certain words and gave it a tone. I've never heard of a Cetus before so your description of it makes it easy to visualize in my head. The way it ends with "nothing could possibly go wrong!" gave it a tone that something will go wrong, which happens all the time in the Percy Jackson series. I can't wait to see what will happens during Percy's adventure.

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  5. Hello Kenzie,
    Your introduction was very entertaining and brought back great memories of the Percy Jackson series! My youngest sister is currently going through the series and it makes me happy to see the books bring her the same amount of excitement they brought me. Awesome to see that you're creatively continuing the story. Everyone craves a good encore, right? I think your project is going to be unique with the letter-to-Grover format, if you continue in that direction. I sadly don't have any constructive feedback at the moment. The grammar and spelling looks good and creativity, quality, and enticement are all big checks! What made you choose Cetus as their monster? I have been going through similar creatures in theoi.com for my storybook and there is so many to choose from!
    Looking forward to seeing what kind of quest they go on and sharing this story with my sister!

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  6. Hi Kenzie,
    I love how you did a letter to Grover for your introduction. It is the first introduction that I have read like this and is definitely a unique take to me. By doing a letter it instantly drew me into the story and showed me what to expect in the stories to come. I have read the Percy Jackson stories and seen the movies so I am excited to see how you write your stories. It can be seen that you are keeping the original characters but making your own story. It definitely makes the reader more interested in the story since we will not know what is going to happen next. I agree with Tony, I have never heard of a Cetus either but you do a wonderful job of drawing a picture of it with your words. Your dialogue is also fantastic, they say things that I can actually picture the characters saying in the original story. I absolutely loved your introduction and can not wait to read more of your stories.

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  7. Hi Kenzie!

    Sigh.. *adds Percy Jackson series to Amazon cart*. LOL, I haven't ever read Percy Jackson (unfortunately.. I've only seen the movies haha) but this makes me want to! I, too, am a fan of telling stories through writing letters. It just feels more personal that way, like you can really see how the main character thinks, feels, and acts. I absolutely love the humor weaved throughout the intro. I actually laughed out loud at a couple parts (1 - 'my schedule is totally booked, you would not believe' / 2 - 'what distinguishes these fish from any other grey fish' SO TRUE LOL / 3 - 'The fish were still glaring at me--although how they did that without eyelids or eyebrows, I'm still not sure') The humor is *chefs kiss.* I like Poseidon's laid-back energy, but what gets me is that he sounds more like a bff rather than a dad. This disconnect adds another layer of humor for sure. Whether you'd like to keep it that way or make him more all-powerful-dad sounding is up to you haha. Super great job. I can't wait to read more!

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  8. Hey Kenzie,
    First off, I loved reading the tales of Percy Jackson when I was growing up. My fourth-grade class read the books and we took a field trip to see the movie. It is fascinating that you are creating your own story rather than rather than retelling another story. This gives you a bigger opportunity to explore your creative side.
    Secondly, I really enjoyed reading your story. I like how the introduction is set up as a letter. At times I did forget that it was a letter and not just a story because of the humor involved. I also like how the dialogue seems to be more modern. I think that helps the audience understand the story better. I am excited to see what Percy’s and Annabeth’s quest will be and how the rest of the story unfolds.
    Lastly, one thing I would recommend would be using a picture of a rowboat or a picture of the sea on your homepage. I think this would be creative and encompass the story better.

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  9. Hi Kenzie! First, I really loved the title page for your story because it automatically made me wonder what swedish fish has to do with your story! I believe that this story is a letter (which is very creative)? If so, then I think you do a great job of setting that up. As a person who has not read the Percy Jackson series... (sorry) I found it difficult to understand where Kronos and Grover came from. Maybe add a little more back story before beginning the letter? I think that would maybe help keep readers on track and knowing what is happening. I really liked the amount of dialogue that you used; it was not overwhelming but just enough to add some character to all of those involved in the story. Your ending did leave me wanting more from the story and I am hoping that you will continue this story so that I can read some more of these Percy Jackson tales!

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  10. Hi Kenzie!
    I'm actually such a fan of the whole letter introduction! I love how creative and artsy it is, there was obviously so much thought and time that was put into it. I know a lot of these names are unfamiliar with me (you may have made them up) but some back story would make it easier to understand what is actually going on especially when it comes to the actual storybook. I really liked that you're making it your own thing and telling it from a POV that is more personable and compelling. You created the setting and character so well! (shout out to those reading notes assignments am I right?) I find the way you write to be so interesting anyway though and hope it stays in letter format. I also can't wait to see the actual development of the story, so I thank you for the very interesting sneak peak :)

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  11. Hi Kenzie! Wow first off let me say you have done so much work already for your storybook! The fact that your introduction was a story as well was very intriguing to a reader and I thought it was super creative. I love how you utilized dialogue throughout your stories, it added an element that made it immersive to the reader. I absolutely loved how you used the characters from Percy Jackson, and it brought me back to my childhood for sure! You obviously have an excellent grip of the character's personalities if you are able to write from their point of view! This is already super impressive so I am excited to see what other adventures the characters go on! I think it is super cool how you have decided to go with writing these stories as letters to your friend Grover, which gives the character motivation to express the adventures they had gone on and also a reason to be themselves. I appreciated the characterization and am excited to see what other creatures come next!

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  12. Hi Kenzie, great job with your project so far! I loved your storybook from the start because Percy Jackson is so nostalgic for me. You recreated the characters perfectly, capturing their personalities, thoughts, and emotions from the original books. You also have a lot of Riordan's writing style—very witty and great dialogue! I like how you include the same photo at the top and bottom of the page; they’re nice bookmarks to the story. I did notice one spelling mistake (I think “writing” should be “writhing”?), but other than that everything was really well-written. As I was reading, I had a couple questions that you might consider expanding on if you want: 1) Why does Percy continue to write letters to Grover after the initial one letting him know that they’re going on a quest? 2) How do Percy and Annabeth manage to blind the Hydra? I know you said it was hard to fit into the story length, but it seems like a relatively big plot point so maybe consider briefly mentioning what weapons they used or if Percy had to use his water powers. Overall really great job—I’m excited to see how the rest of your project forms!

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  13. Hi Kenzie!
    I almost forgot about Percy Jackson until I saw your story book. I actually loved readings those books in like 8th grade but I kind of have forgotten some of the things that happened. I also watch the first movie but I cannot remember if it was the same as the books or not. On another note, your story book looks great so far. You really did great at describing the characters exactly how they should be portrayed. I like the kind of dialogue you use and that you use it more than once throughout your story book. I think this really helps draw in the reader and make the feel more connected to what they are reading. You have done great so far. Keep up the great work!

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  14. Hey Kenzie!

    I saw your home page for your project and got absolutely excited! I love the picture you chose for the main cover. I just read your introduction and I have fallen in love. Percy Jackson was a big part of my childhood. It is one of my favorite book series of all time. Anything related to the mythology, brings me happiness. It is so well written. It feels like this could actually be sub-series of the main series. I like that you wanted to create another quest rather than a continuation of the original story. I like the way the story is laid out in a letter to Grover. Everyone knows Grover is such a worrisome satyr. But we know that he loves to be a part of the action. I feel kind of bad that he was not able to be a part of the quest. I died laughing when you mentioned the Swedish fish reference. Honestly, that made my day. “We don’t go insulting your heritage!” This is seriously iconic. I am loving this storybook. I just finished chapter 1 and cannot wait for the next chapter. Hopefully, you could make this into a short novel. That would be amazing! Keep up the wonderful work! I love your side commentaries and the references to the Swedish fish. It gives it a sense of comedy.

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  15. Hi Kenzie,
    I read your story about the Hydra and I love the narration from Percy's point of view and that it is also the point of view of Grover reading Percy's letter. Your style of writing brings me back to middle school when I used to read Percy Jackson's series for breakfast. You really captured the personality of the characters and of course Percy and Annabeth would be tired from saving the world. Usually when I think of the Hydra, I thought the version from Disney's Hercules. When you attached a picture a snake, I visualized it very differently and the Hydra is a lot more serpent-like in my head. It is much more scarier when I thought of the Hydra with many giant snake heads and I have a huge fear of snakes. I think it is cool that Percy and Annabeth used their Greek mythology knowledge to figure out how to deal with the Hydra. One note I have is that you could explain more on how they blinded the Hydra. I don't think you should make it super clear but just a little bit more detail like Percy stabbing Hydra's eyes with swords or did they used arrows to shoot at the eyes. Overall, I love the story so far and I love that it is light-hearted.

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  16. Howdy Kenzie!
    I really enjoyed reading your introduction and first two stories. I've never read the Percy Jackson series (I know right, unbelievable), but nevertheless, I am still able to follow your stories perfectly which I think says a lot about your ability to effectively use a source material to tell your stories while not relying on it so heavily that people who haven't read that source material can't keep up. I also really enjoy the personality you've imbued all your characters with. They each have their own unique quirks and senses of humor. I especially liked how you wrote Poseidon and hope that we get to see more of him before the book is through. Percy is also a lot of fun and I like how you demonstrate that he might be embellishing a little, which brings me to my last point: I absolutely love the style of narration for this story book. The letter format opens up so many unique possibilities. I love what you've done with it so far, and I can't wait to see what you do with it as you finish up your story book.

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  17. Hi Kenzie, I enjoyed reading the introduction and the Hydra story in your storybook! As a fan of the Percy Jackson series, I really liked the idea behind your storybook. Your introduction does a great job at introducing the main characters as well as the format behind your storybook (a letter to Grover). Your inclusion of dialogue between the characters really brought their personalities to life and I especially liked Poseidon as some of his dialogue made me chuckle. Moving onto your story, I think you did a great job in tying in the story of Hercules fighting the hydra into your story through Annabelle. I believe that even if you haven’t read the Percy Jackson series, you would still be able to follow along and become immersed in the story. Overall, a great introduction and first story of your storybook and I am excited to see what happens next!

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  18. Hi Kenzie!
    First off, I love the titles of your stories, including your introduction! Percy Jackson was one of my favorite book series when I was a kid, and I still love them. You capture the tone of Percy Jackson very well, I think! Starting off with a letter to Grover was a good way to explain what was going on without having to actually say what was happening. It was much more fun to read a letter! Continuing with the letters was a good idea as well! It adds a personal note to the story that can be hard to get. Your version of Charybdis was much more calm and able to be reasoned with than the version in Rick Riordan’s Sea of Monsters! Percy Jackson being half siblings with beings like Charybdis and the Cyclopses almost always takes me slightly aback every time I am reminded of it. Great story!

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  19. Hi Kenzie!
    Reading through your introduction and stories has reminded me of the joy I had as a kid whenever I read the latest Percy Jackson series. Your writing is reminiscent of his humor and style, which makes these readings all the more enjoyable. I love the story telling mechanic of using letters Percy is writing to Grover, since he’s missing out on adventures he usually partakes in. Turning every encounter of Percy’s into a singular story is also good because it makes me feel like I’m reading chapters out of another book on his adventures with the Greek gods. Your story with Charybdis was my favorite since it makes her character all the more human compared to the original story of her trapping Odysseus. Her actions are explained simply by her want of attention from her father, which Percy promises to deliver. Great job writing this, I hope to see more in the future!

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  20. Hi Kenzie!

    I read your introduction a while ago and when I got the choice to return to a project from the class list, I did not hesitate to choose yours!

    I just read both of your published stories. I really think it's cool how you're using a calling back format to tell these stories. Percy writing to Grover in a letter just works well.

    However I am a bit confused how in one line of your story "The Hydra." You say: "And ... nothing happened. Which, honestly, I think Annabeth and I were okay with." but then the Hydra appears. That line just doesn't quite make sense with the whole calling back in a letter format.

    One thing I love about your stories is that it really mimics Rick Riordan's style so well. The fact that Percy and Annabeth can just have a whole conversation while their in the middle of fighting The Hydra is not only funny but something I can see happening in the actual books. The line "Looks like it was back to the drawing board, then." as if they're in a controlled environment brainstorming mundane ideas was hilarious to me.

    This humor continues into your story titled "Charybdis" with the line "On the third day, Annabeth and I were sitting in the bottom of the boat, playing some good old-fashioned Go Fish (please don't tell the Swedish Fish)." You're doing such a good job maintaining the tone of the original books!

    I also really like how Percy was able to resolve his conflict with Charybdis by simply talking to her and being nice. The way he left that conflict feeling like he made a new friend is very heartwarming. Overall, I really enjoyed these two new stories!

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  21. Hi Kenzie!
    I looooove this idea!!! I grew up reading the Percy Jackson books, so I was super excited to read this story. The letter structure is really fun and a great way to add first-person point of view from Percy. Although it is assumed that we would know something about the characters, you do a great job of filling the reader in and not making us guess to much or get too lost. The story is really interesting and well written, and all of your dialogue is very realistic! The details and imagery are rich and beyond adequate. I do have one suggestion: whenever Percy and Annabeth come upon the Hydra and it tries to attack, that's a lot of suspense!! Maybe instead of, "One of the heads, not wanting to wait on our conversation, attempted to stab us, but only barely missed when Annabeth threw herself to the other side of the boat," you could add a moment of suspense or shock as the Hydra lashes out and attacks Annabeth!
    Great writing!!

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  22. Hello Kenzie!
    I read your introduction and the first story. I absolutely enjoyed both! I am vaguely familiar with the Percy Jackson stories but that is just based off a movie I watched. Now, I am going to have to add the books to my cart and read them over the summer because you got me excited to read them. I like how you chose to continue the story after their defeat of Kronos. Continuing stories after the big ending is something I have wanted to try. It's wonderful how the stories are being told through letters to his friend, Grover. It adds a good friendship dynamic and some lighthearted fun. What made you decide to continue their story? Are you a big fan of the books and movies? I love stories with humor, suspense and drama. Yours hits the nail on the head! I am excited to read what you come up with for Percy and his adventures.

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  23. Hi Kenzie! I am back to read more about Percy Jackson and this adventure he is on! I really do enjoy theses stories you are telling. I just read the story about Charybdis. I like how your story started off calmly with Percy and Annabeth playing "go fish" and then the story got more intense after the started to drift away. Your stories are very well written and easy to read. I also particularity enjoy that they are written as letters addressed to Grover. It makes it more personal and keeps the story alive more I think! Your author's note also does a great job of letting the readers know why and how you came up with the story. I am very glad that you chose to do your story book over Percy Jackson because it makes me feel like a kid again. Great job, keep it up!

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  24. Hi Kenzie! I got so excited when I read your projects name! I haven't read the Percy Jackson books in probably 12 years or more, but I loved them so much! You do a great job leading into the suspense and action, and I couldn't stop reading until it was done. I think showing what happens to Percy and everyone after the books was interesting, because I'm always wanting to know how my favorite characters live after everything they've gone through. Good job!

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  25. Hi Kenzie,
    Love your stories! I have loved the stories of Percy Jackson ever since I discovered them and I really like your adaptations and your take on these characters. I like that Percy and Annabeth are on the journey together but Grover is integrated into the stories by him being the letter recipient. Having Percy's father being the one who starts Percy on his journey is a great start to the stories. Especially since he was not involved much in the movies. He was involved more in the books but there is more story there of course. Regarding the third story, I think a few of the sentences could be combined to make the reading flow more seamless. I love the ending where Percy is stern with his father and tells him where he is slacking in his duties. I wonder if Percy will ever take a larger role in the leadership of the sea? Percy seems to be enjoying some of the duties that his father is lacking in. Great stories, Kenzie!

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  26. Hi Kenzie, I am from the Indian Epics class, but I thought I would check out some of the myth folklore stories! I was instantly drawn to your storybook since I loved reading the Percy Jackson series when I was younger. For this week in Indian Epics we are focusing on Author's Notes, so I will be giving you feedback on yours today! Overall, I think you do a great job on your author's notes. You have a format you generally follow with announcing the characters and then describing the new one and how that new character relates with your normal ones. I also appreciate that you explain what these creatures are or what they are supposed to look like. I often have to do this in the Indian Epics class due to the variety of descriptions that are given on certain Gods/creatures/etc. I believe the only advice I have to give is how are you inspired by the character you chose? For example, why were you inspired to write about Cetus? Great Job!

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  27. Hi Kenzie! I am back to your page to re-read your stories and see what revisions you made. You definitely made it clearer where Grover and Kronos came from so thank you for that! I am one of the few people who did not read the Percy Jackson series when I was growing up, so adding more details and backstory were very beneficial to me and I'm sure it was for other readers like me! I also enjoyed reading your latest story and you again left me craving more from you! Continue doing what you are doing because I am loving all of it! The only question I have is what inspired you to write about Cetus and your other stories? That is unclear in the authors note, but it is not something major you need to fix! I will re-visit your page again soon and I cannot wait to see what you do!

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  28. Hi Kenzie! I am back to read more on the tales of Percy Jackson! Like I have said before, I love that you chose Percy Jackson as your theme for your storybook because it makes me feel young again. I like that you add back stories and an explanation for the readers who have never read the Percy Jackson series. I have enjoyed all of your retellings so far. It is interesting to see a different perspective than just what I had read in grade school. I also really enjoy that each story is actually a letter. It makes it seem more personal and I also think that it is easier to read that way. It makes it fun for us as readers. Keep up the great work! I look forward to coming back to your story book as we finish up the semester!

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